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Friday, June 1, 2012

Hurricane Preparedness guide ?

    Today is the first day of the 2012 Hurricane Season  and   I just returned home from grocery  shopping, the Cashier put a “ Hurricane Preparedness guide” in my bag. I was appalled at their so call tips . We are talking real life Emergency and that’s the best they can do . The only thing I took away from it is that I’m in the wrong business , I should be selling bottled water .  I took it upon my self as a Public Service to bring " You People" up to speed , I just hope I’m not to late .. First of all I survived Hurricane Andrew , and when a tree fell on the house  I didn't reach for a bottled water . So Tip #1 is stock up on Alcohol !  A tree limb through a window can break glass, so  I prefer Vodka in  plastic bottles and twist off caps . I’m going to finish my Preparedness tips with captioned  pictures  ..   be  safe South Florida

In the event of a direct hit from a storm, please go check on my house !  I'll be 1/2 way to Nebraska

First thing don't Panic !  you might  spill your beverage

Time to  get in line at Home Depot for plywood , by the time you get home the storm will be over .

Stock up on Medication , It could be 3 days before FEMA shows up to save your ass, and you could run out of Prozac, ,Xanax  and Vagisil

Make sure you have supplies for at least 3 days .  A flashlight  will help you look for you Homeowners Insurance Policy , the  pages of worthless paper can be used for toilet paper  after all the Insurance  Companies declare Bankruptcy

  In case of post storm looting,  I have a ferocious dog to protect my life and property

5 comments:

  1. LOL this is too funny Tim! I'm scare of your dog not all the guns you own

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  2. Tip # 1 is definitely right, hahaha. I laughed alot when I saw the snickers finally beneath the apple (being the only healthy thing there)

    Don't go near any trees during storms!

    -Oscar Valencia
    Tree Service Queens

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  3. Indeed good Pal, no need for a preparedness guide. Ice and cold shakes at hand. I remember drinking hot beer on a hot and humid day in Miami at the Player's Pub. No lights just a congregation of local drunks that muster the strength and endurance to prioritize their times during a national disaster.

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