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Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Gimme Shelter / Hurricane Survival tips

I just returned home from grocery  shopping, the Cashier put a “ Hurricane Preparedness guide” in my bag. I was appalled at their so call tips . We are talking real life Emergency and that’s the best they can do . The only thing I took away from it is that I’m in the wrong business , I should be selling bottled water .  I took it upon my self as a Public Service to bring " You People" up to speed , I just hope I’m not to late .. First of all I survived Hurricane Andrew , and when a tree fell on the house  I didn't reach for a bottled water . So Tip #1 is stock up on Alcohol !  A tree limb through a window can break glass, so  I prefer Vodka in  plastic bottles and twist off caps . I’m going to finish my Preparedness tips with captioned  pictures  ..   be  safe South Florida .
In the event of a direct hit from a storm, please go check on my house !  I'll be 1/2 way to Nebraska

First thing don't Panic !  you might  spill your beverage
Time to  get in line at Home Depot for plywood , by the time you get home the storm will be over .

Stock up on Medication , It could be 3 days before FEMA shows up to save your ass, and you could run out of Prozac, ,Xanax  and Vagisil
Make sure you have supplies for at least 3 days .  A flashlight  will help you look for you Homeowners Insurance Policy , the  pages of worthless paper can be used for toilet paper  after all the Insurance  Companies declare Bankruptcy

  In case of post storm looting,  I have a ferocious dog to protect my life and property

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